Okay so I realise how dramatic that sounds, but that’s how dramatic if feels – why do I have to wait until 50 to have a breakdown??
Now I know this a pity party of one but I feel like I’ve had a bit of a shit year – aside from yanno the world-wide pandemic – work wise, I cannot seem to catch a break. I have been made redundant 3 times now and I think it may be a sign to just stop working all together.
Unfortunately, though this is not an option.
I was skint enough when I had a job and now its even worse. Who knew life could be so expensive? I mean I guess I should have but when you start adding things in like a car service and it turns out the reason your car had the yellow warning light on is because you’ve been driving round on a puncture for the last 5 months and now you need to pay for not only the service but a new tyre, it starts to become a joke – did you know they don’t even clean the car for you? If I’m paying £200 quid, I expect at least the cobwebs washed off my wing mirror.
But alas, I’m back to applying for 100+ jobs a day and filling out application forms where they ask for every single detail that I’ve already spent time writing on my CV and cover letter. Back to interviewing for roles I don’t really want but need, fake laughing at the kind of sexist jokes my positional boss makes because I don’t want to explain my biggest strength and weakness to another 5 interviewers.
Can we just pause for a second and talk about how stupid interviews are? Don’t get me wrong, I know they are imperative – I’ve interviewed people myself – the stupid part is the inane questions that are just so pointless, ‘So what do you do when you’re not working?’ well Carole, I can’t quite tell you that most weekends I do so many tequila shots that I forget my own name and wake up next to a bag of Doritos, so instead I tell you that I like to read (haven’t read a book since 2009) or that I enjoy cooking (if you class putting a pizza in the oven as cooking). Or what about ‘tell me your biggest weakness’ – well my biggest weakness is actually a whole list of things that would make you not want to hire me, I’m occasionally late because I snooze my alarm about 20 times and then blame it on traffic or that I have a massive mouth and can’t help but gossip which also goes hand in hand with me being incredibly nosey and needing to know every single detail about everything, but you’ll be told that I’m just a perfectionist and love to do everything perfectly. I think you get my point, right? These are all so rehearsed that its not an interview but rather a process of running lines. What you need to know is that, I can follow simple instructions (most of the time), have some common sense (emphasis on some) and will turn up everyday and work hard so that I don’t lose another job and can afford to keep up my lifestyle shopping, takeaways and going out every weekend.
I could go on and on about how sad I am and how unfair life is but I want to end on a lighter note and a reminder to myself that it could always be worse and that I am thankful for my health, friends and family who are nothing but supportive.